Amity, Hey, Lil Sis. That was very, very good for a first attempt. I really don't have any suggestions, except maybe switching the order of time and nature. See if that changes the meaning or the feel. You could also choose a specific kind of tree (oak, elm, ash, etc.) with a one syllable name. That can also bring a different shade of meaning. Like flowers, different trees have different symbolic meaning. I suppose you could play with synonyms for survive too (endure is the only one that comes to mind). Make small changes and see what YOU think. You may go right back to this one, or you might like one of the others. Either way, you'll get a bit more practice with the subtleties of haiku. Congratulations on an excellent first haiku.
I like the internal alliteration in the first line of your second option (old/elms). I also like the shift in meaning with the change of "by" to "with." They are both nice, so ultimately, the choice is yours. You can submit one on the Haiku Bones site too if you want. The prompt there is "time," so your haiku would fit perfectly. Good job!
I was wrong. The prompt for Haiku Bones is "electrifying." The "time" prompt is on David L. Harrison's site. That would be fine too. You would like that site. Lots of good poetry being posted there.
32 comments:
Excellent Acrostic Amity! Spot On the Prompt. Loved it.
Saras;
Thanks so much!!!
Good morning! Is it there? It is here!
It is Good Evening 7PM here
awesome :)..
urs..hemu..
Amity,
Hey, Lil Sis. That was very, very good for a first attempt. I really don't have any suggestions, except maybe switching the order of time and nature. See if that changes the meaning or the feel. You could also choose a specific kind of tree (oak, elm, ash, etc.) with a one syllable name. That can also bring a different shade of meaning. Like flowers, different trees have different symbolic meaning. I suppose you could play with synonyms for survive too (endure is the only one that comes to mind). Make small changes and see what YOU think. You may go right back to this one, or you might like one of the others. Either way, you'll get a bit more practice with the subtleties of haiku. Congratulations on an excellent first haiku.
Yousei Hime
Hems;
...thanks you like it!
good afternoon!
Lovely lines today
Happy new Year again :-)
Hi Anya;
..thank you so much deaR!
:)
Hello Yousei;
thanks so much for taking the time to go over my first attempt...:) I am quite encourage to go for it!
Just please be kind and patient enough!
Yours,
Amity
Great beginning to a New Year..
Do I need to Say "Good Creation" ..maybe need to create some new words to appreciate your posts..
:-)
I like the internal alliteration in the first line of your second option (old/elms). I also like the shift in meaning with the change of "by" to "with." They are both nice, so ultimately, the choice is yours. You can submit one on the Haiku Bones site too if you want. The prompt there is "time," so your haiku would fit perfectly. Good job!
Yousei Hime
I was wrong. The prompt for Haiku Bones is "electrifying." The "time" prompt is on David L. Harrison's site. That would be fine too. You would like that site. Lots of good poetry being posted there.
Yousei Hime
heyy..vry well said ya..so true..yes, its the time to end all angst and start a new beginning..dats wht a new yr meant for..!!!
that was great...i should try acrostics and see how it goes
aww... Good luck! I hope this year turns out wonderfully for you! :-)
You are really doing some beautiful work Amity, keep it up please!
Yousei;
..yes, I will take your suggestions, and submitting it to the links you said, do i just have to link it or email it to them?
Thanks Yousei, you are so kind to teach me here...I will learn, sure, I will!
Good morning!
Hey Madhu;
yeah, in my own perspective...:)
what happened to you? hibernating again? you've done that before and doing it again?
i thought both of us will be flying?
c'mon, get to your senses, seri?
HUgs sweet Li'l Sis!
Hey Melissa;
thanks dear...:)
yeah, you can do it, why not...once a writer, always a writer...:)
and when done, link it to Acrostic Only, it's in my left sidebar!
Good morning there in Malta! Is it? It's morning here, 6:54 AM...:)
:)
Hey Amias, Big Sis!
thanks...sure, I will try my best!
Yours,
Amity
Raaji;
...yes dear, It's my ardent wish and I wish you the same...:)
good morning!
It's evening there, isn't it?
Dev;
...ha ha ha...you don't need to, i might not understand your comment...:)thanks anyways...:)
btw, have you done the tag?
have a nice day ahead!
Love this one! So true and full of positive outlook.
elegant and nice
Hi KP;
Good morning...:)
thank you so much!
:)
HI Life, Unchartered;
I dunno how to call you, I tried looking for your name in your space but can't see it.
Thank you so much for your kind comments!
:)
Hi Amity, I am Acrosticly Yours. I believe you follow that blog. Sorry for the confusion. Thanks for finding me at my other spot :) and commenting!
Hi Sharla;
Now i know (Life, Uncharted)...just cam from your place!
:)
This sounds like a wonderful New Year to me. Nicely penned.
MIssy;
...yes it is...thanks so much!
HAPPY NEW YEAR :)
Wow...better late than never Ste!
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